Friday, May 29, 2009

On Dropping the Other Shoe...

By Suresh Nellikode

When I mentioned about the shoes with GPS tracking system, Nandu's mercury of curiosity rose.

"What... Shoes with GPS..?"

I said, "probably a company must have had a feasibility study sometime ago in order to bring out a challenging offer to people like your mom and dad who belong to the unknown majority, who in public do not admit, but certainly with a zodiac of a directionally challenged."

Nandu's imagination shot up.

Shoes with a built in navigation system that beeps and shouts at you, if you take a wrong step! The one refuses to move if you do not listen to it! What if the battery gets exhausted at a point you try to overrule the gentle beeps? You have no choice but leave it there itself and walk down to a sandal shop for a cheapest one, feeding your homing instinct.

He said.

Perhaps Chandu needs one set.Oh no! Not he. Amma wants one fix it on him to track down his movements. He comes late from university debiting the account of special classes or combined studies whereas there were no such things in existence, at his place. Oh yeah, that's a good idea!

He continued: But I'm sure he, like a typical Kerala bumbledom who deliberately damaged the attendance machines in their offices, will purposely damage it or it should have an unlimited warranty.

I asked, ''How about you, having a set?''He said : No, not needed. I never go out of my rails. Like a horse fitted with a blinker, I used to shuttle home and school. Ask me why.

There are human antennae everywhere till I reach my school, entrusted by my sweet Mom.They never default, keep sending regular reports on which way I went and came back. Also, whether I stopped at that Slovenian girl's house and sent my rays of thoughts inside, or did I turn left, instead of right straight to school, to the convenience shop and bought a coke and what not....! Where do I get a chance to go wrong amongst these punctilious lots?

After taking a deep sigh he continued.

I'm sure their scions will blow up their interitances. That's my only relief at old age, in looking at them; a sort of avenging my wronged enemies!
That's how I resolved to walk straight to school and back not looking at any trifles, as long as they do not attack me. It's better be a law abiding citizen student in Burlington lest I should be gathering a lot of moses that can't be washed away. It's recession time and I'm sure that these hawkshaws may not get employed temporarily even in shops like Walmart and Price-chopper. My bad patch of stars will continue for another year till I finish off my schooling. Let me finish my studies to show them how to put shoe on the other foot!

I registered my gratitude to Suja unofficially, for taking care of things in my absence.

By the way, how come you sprung up suddenly with an idea of GPS Shoes? Which is the company? What's the brand name?, he asked.

It's a Gulf News columnist.

I know. I guessed. It must be Suresh Menon, the one who makes everything possible! He only has a swell time always with funny ideas!

Oh my guilt-sick conscience! The cat is out...!

I laughed out of the other side of my mouth.


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